Just been on holiday, with a bunch of these people I know. We kept a diary, its below, some I wrote as if i was me other times I wrote as if I was a 3rd person, some was written by the others, thought it would be more complicated that way.

Friday 5^th August
Arrived about 22.30, went out to get food, nowhere was serving, so we ended up having crisps & beer. Went for walk along beach in dark and participated in some dogging. JP almost urinated on some strange man hiding behind the deck chairs.

Saturday 6^th August
Our first full day. Had the most marklar night out in estartit. The evening started with some wicked tapas. All previous attempts to get food so far had been a failure due to the bars not serving any more.

After that and a bit of shopping, we headed over to the square. Damn metal bar has been replaced with a place called "New Ambient" that doesn't play any ambient music.

We sat outside for a bit, got some cocktails from the salsa bar, but were pretty much all falling asleep after a short while, until we decided to see what rockafellas was like inside. It was marvelous, they played the likes of the blues brothers, prodigy, rage against the machine, etc.. plus I moshed with a bunch of strangers. Awesome. I don't think we all stopped dancing for about 2 hours. After which we went home, and jumped in the pool. JP was convinced we should be skinny dipping, and he did. Following this he tucked his penis between his legs. Broken glass, hyperactive JP (fly swat, singing Raiders of Lost Arc theme tune) & Matthew.

Sunday
Woken by yapping dog from next door. Thinking of ways to kill it.

gaviot. Bobs made pig noises while waiter tried to take her plate, my meal was totally amazing. Fruits of sea, followed by rare veal in port sauce, then 3 sorbets and a carlos the 1^st torres brandy, as recommended by waiter. Awesome. JP had a grappa, remind me never to have that. night in, consequences

Monday
walked to harbor. Ate tapas, just bobs nicki sat on beach, then nicki joined me n jp for food. A man from the Ministry of Silly Walks walked passed with his finger up his arse.

In the evening, after a siesta, went for Pizza & chips dinner. Nutty/scary spanish waitress – told Bobs to throw fag butt on floor and demanded Mat finish his ham! Went to Salsa bar, had 2 cocktails there, then to rockafellas, where the bar staff started stripping and dancing round to nelly the elephant, then poured schnapps into the mouths of customers. Classy. Of course I had some.

maxims. Nicki kissed sleeping bloke, classy. Bobs fell over the podium.

Tuesday
snorkeling - cold & entertaining watching JP try and dive in his life jacket. Sardines at beach bar. Sleep. Justin knows too much about giving manicures. Nicki finally had a poo.

Hello this is and will always be an entry from Jonny P. Its now 00:40 hrs and we have just come back from town (very early for us) we have come back primarily because Nixster don't feel great and we have loads of San Miguel to drink, we had a lurvelly Paella in town with a couple of nice bottles of red (which made our tongues red see attached photo) all in all nearly quite a grown up evening, thats a worry!! ;-) and there is more to come, oohh deeeaarrrrrr. 02:00 and we are still jawrin still drikin and now munchin too, Mat has taken to the sofa for a snooze F*%”ing lightweight chuckle. Must go i am sure i can hear a San Miguel callin. Latest breakin news Sadler just stirred And Nixster just FARTED class !!!

Wednesday
JP's off home today. Boo. But, YEAH for no more snoring! ;-) Picked up Chad from airport. JP turned the mini people carrier into an aeroplane. Had lunch in Girona, Mat was scared. Justin bumped the kerb. Dropped JP off. Got caught in police car chase on the way back. Chad bought rain and storms with him. Drove through the 'ghetto' as we came back into town – nice. Sat and watched the man opposite clean his car. He was at it for well over 2 hours. Came to the conclusion that he'd either killed someone cos of his thoroughness, or he's an obsessive compulsive.

Justin received text from Phil congratulating him and Bobs for finally getting it together. Lots of speculation as to how the talk of town has hit home all of a sudden. JP can't be to blame, he is on a plane. Martin perhaps? After blaming a number of people, Nicki finally confesses to mentioning it to Vicki in a text – whoops.

Went to chinese followed by kims for stupid drinking games, we talked like robots, it was a rule. Only i followed it though. Other rules: not allowed to say 'no', drink', any numbers, names or swear. Not allowed to point, sniff or jig legs – all impossible. Me n nix got through 3 jugs of champagne sangria. Then went to rockafellas for stupid shots.

I went to maxims again, with nix and chad. Told them the music was rubbish, nix talked to the manager. Hip hop dj didn't have any NWA. Place was full of people with caps perched on very top of their heads, wearing t-shirts about 30 sizes too big. Justin and Bobs tried to fall asleep (or at least pretend to be asleep) before the drunkies returned but were not fast enough and had to put up with half an hour of high volume Mat who thought it would be a good time to start a 'lounge party' at 4.30am until Nix persuaded him to go to bed!

Thursday
Woken up by ants crawling on me, had the worst hangover ever, so I walked up the mountain with justin. Awesome. It's raining, nix is miserable.

Bobs seems to have picked up a few clumsy habits such as walking into the mens loos everywhere we go – accidentally of course.

Mat just had a moment (18.23), claims he's not going to drink for the rest of the holiday. Reckons he had an epiphany whilst climbing the mountain earlier. I'm sure he had a vodka in hand as he said this.

Mat has obsession with Pole bird (Harveys bar – been there many times so he can NOT speak /make eye contact with her. Justin has done this for him) and has also taken a liking to the Chinese girl from last night's restaurant.

Note to self (Nicki) – remember to give Mat the chiropodist's tel no.

Bobs is no longer constipated.

Nicki and Bobs were both surprised to discover that the Earth orbits the sun, and not the other way round, and also that the moon orbits the Earth, and was not, as they previously thought, the center of the universe. This is true.

Friday
An old woman got run over in the street in front of the villa, hilarious. And I saw a ghost dog on the roof of a house, but it vanished before i could photograph it.

It's been sunny ALL day!!! So justin, bobs, chad and mat decided to walk up the mountain. Good thinking.

Went for meal at el volante, followed by harveys, kims, then the Titty Twister, manned by Cheech at the door, we were scared so we went to Maxims, its still shit. We'll never learn. Justin is a gaylord. I would like to add to Mats version of events that the walk up the mountain actually started off as a stroll through the forest but somehow ended up with a slight detour up the mountain, as you do, but it was also well above 30 degrees at the time and some of us only had flip-flops on! We made it down in one piece, occasionally at high speed. Mat also had another epiphany whilst up the mountain, this time deciding to become celibate and I think he may actually achieve this – judging by his pulling technique so far!

For some reason Mat was on more of a mission than usual this evening and took off for the restaurant at high speed. Needless to say we were all shit faced early on and it went rapidly downhill from the restaurant onwards. Justin for some reason decided he wanted a break from beer and was on vodka for the night. We have since learned that vodka doesn't suit him (easily upset, and foul mood spring to mind)!. At Maxims Mats nose was seriously put out of joint when during the amount if time it took him to have a pee, he returned only to find to his disgust that Chad had pulled. I believe the words were 'how'd that happen' pause 'fucking bastard'. By about 3.30 Justin and I wanted to go home but Mat wasn't impressed, hence Justin being referred to as a gaylord!. The vodka had taken serious effect by now so Justin mumbled on and off over the next hour or so 'he called me a gaylord'. The other 3 'lightweights' ended up home only half hour after us so this infuriated Justin even more who then had a silent tantrum in the kitchen. The evening ended up with Justin and I passed out on a matress in the lounge listening to Chad and Mat oohing and aahing over shooting stars together on the balcony. It was very touching!

Saturday
Nicky gone home, boo. We went to dali's house. Had an enourmous mixed grill

Last proper night out. Went to harveys, had chips. Then went over to rockafellas, at about 10:30, it was empty. Stayed till the end, justin and bobs went home. It played loads of crap hip hop today, yankers. So i got to really go mental with a bunch of german dudes when they played killing in the name of.

More schnapps pouring on people.

Chad and Mat went to maxims. Bumped into neighbor outside. Music inside still shit. Sat out back, 'Ace' the dutch h4x0r started talking to me, and introduced us to his friends, I only remember Bully.

Decided Estartit needs a late opening kebab shop.

The other version of Saturday. After dropping Nicky off we went to Dali's house and had lunch. They gave us raw garlic to rub on our bread and five whole animals (mixed grill).

Highlight's in Dali's house were a big white stuffed horse (he was probably used in the mixed grill) and a faceless kid in a tiger patterned outfit and long black hair (the ring meets catwoman).

The woman in the cafe would not let anyone open her precious Walls ice cream freezer. The general vibe of the place was like being in Portmeirion.

After receiving the depressing football results things perked up at rockafellers. Chad won the pool but lost his voice (the search continues).

After Anna and Justin left, Matt and Chad broke some funky moves and body popped their way around the dancefloor to the sounds of the blues brothers and grease before Matt misjudged a stool and table.

As the Now 61 CD continued to spin Matt participated in a little male bonding while Chad sat back and watched a fine young lady flash her knickers at anyone who was interested (Chad was not amused, but in case anyone is interested they were pink).

As we made our why to the grey havens that is Maxims, a Spanish girl decided to abuse us. She was short and ugly so we didn't care (much).

After maxim's we used our primal instincts to hunt down some food. After failing miserably we ended the evening spotting shooting stars and chucking cured ham at people as they left maxims

Sunday
Tex Mex for dinner. Nice, but small portions. Went for one last drink in Salsa Bar. Just a quiet one as we gotta be up the next day. Justin and Bobs went home. Chad and Mat went to indigo, for the first time in the holiday. Turns out they are massive prod fans and played it almost non stop. Awesome-o.

Went for chinese from that guy in the square, I think he's started taking something as he was acting strange compared to previous years. Gave me an inappropriate fork for my rice.

Matt from leeds talked to us. Went in rockafellas for one last time. Barman told me off for not wearing my rockafellas shirt. Finally made contact with females, who even lived at La Font, but they were brummies.

After Chinese we sat outside Rockafeller's in the square drinking with the masses whilst Chad tried to get the attention of the attractive waitress. Our 50 cent tips soon did the trick. Went inside to dance to Franz, Killers and RATM (finally some good music!). As the bouncers emptied the joint, Chad used his special powers on the barman he thought was English but is actually Dutch to pull the sexy barmaid and get in a lock-in. Amazingly it worked and we were soon introduced to Rachel and two glasses were drawn up, however, something happened and we were back out on the Streets of Philadelphia within no time. Here we met two women from the third world who enjoy eating carrots and denying us attention.

The night/morning came to a close with the two of us checking out the outside of Rancho's before heading back to the batcave and a queer smell. Fried gold all round!

Monday
I had far too much metal on me in the airport, and the check in staff decided to give chad the wrong ticket.